Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The One Where She Says 'Adios' To Her Ass


My favorite Homer Simpsonism is when Bart says to Homer:
"Daaa-ad, I'm tired of your half assed attempt at being a good father."
to wit Homer replies:
"Hmmm, I was using my whole ass."


****************just click the links to follow along**********



That, my bloggy friends is the way I feel about 2008. It was using its whole ass. And I, for one, am glad to see it go.

I have been in a funk lately - since about Halloween. Nyaah, who am I kidding - I've been in a funk since like 2007. This year has just beaten my spirit.


You happy 2008? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, 2-oh-oh-effin8! You think you're all "ooh, I'm a big happy new year with all my curvy roundness and potential prosperity...Just wait all you revelers - go blow your noisemakers and drink your tiny bubbles - You'll wish you were gonna party like it WAS 1999..." and BLAMMO!

First you took my wonderful dad.
Then you took my Thyroid (D.A.C.) and parathyroid glands (apparantly by accident)
You left me without a voice, numbed my extremities, and solemnized my spirit.
You made me think about friendship and what that really means all the while sending your own unique 2008 brand of whoop-ass their way. (for anyone who is counting - 3.5 divorces, a couple of admitted (or discovered) addicts, 2 cases of cancer, one brain tumor, and one death).


Am I just wallowing in my own self pity? Or, as my oldest friend Cheryl (literally 5 seconds ago)tells me, that although I am depressed and feel intense sadness - it makes me all the more capable of feeling joy and real happiness as well. I guess so and I hope that is true. Extreme emotion on either end of the spectrum is draining. And, quite frankly - I am tapped out.


But- in my effort to fight back you gave me this. This other place I call home. It all came to me in a dream back in February of this shitty year. Aroused from a pain killer induced slumber - I woke up with my first post and wrote it in about 22 seconds. Literally. I could call it my new hobby, or addiction, or obsession - whatever. But this is a place where I can vent and share - no conditions...no retalliation...no reprisals. I like this place, and if some don't understand it - screw 'em.

2008 brought us a year frought with political tumult and economic cirisis and Olympic excitement of epic and historic proportion.

2008 also sent me here- which totally didn't suck in any way shape or form (other than the frickin' roosters and all that cock-a-doodle doo-ing) .

2008 also filled me full of laughter and joy of the parental kind. My girls are wonderful and I always take 50% of the credit for them (guess who gets the other 50%?). And although they are not perfect - they are damned near perfect. And, they are getting older and more challenging and scaring the shit out of me on a daily basis. And sometimes I am such an ass-mom. I've really got to resolve to watch my temper and my sharp tongue as regards the girls. I should be more aware of how my words effect them. (thanks Sunny, for posting something so deeply personal and making me think. Hard.)

So good riddance to you - you shitty year. I say 'Adios' to this ass of a year - and I resolve to say 'Adios' to my big fat ass (and belly and thighs)as well.

Let's raise our cyber glasses , get ready for the what will inevitably be another year full of the unexpected - and to that I say "Cheers!" And when you're nursing your cheap champagne hangover tomorrow morning while watching the Tournament of Roses Parade followed by hours of college football - do what I am doing. Wishing you all a happy, prosperous, healthy and simple 2009.



25 comments:

for a different kind of girl said...

That's so awesome that I'm going to jot it down on a Post It note and leave it on my fridge!

bejewell said...

2008 can suck it! I say good riddance and bring on the 09!

Yaya said...

Happy New Year!

I'm so glad I'm the only person who hated 2008. I love your post. I keep reading others' posts about how wonderful their year was. Sure, I had some good points to mine, but it mostly sucked big time.

The Nice One said...

Here's to 2009 kicking some ass.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Holy crap, 2008 was a real bitch to you. I hope 2009 is far, far better!

HappyHourSue said...

What a great post- sorry 2008 was so suck-ass.......here's hoping '09 brings nothing but good things...;)

Mariah said...

No shit- 2008 was a sucker and I am glad to see it go...

Mike said...

We should have made 2008 a leap year. We'd leap over the whole thing and skip it. Let's hope the 09 is better for you and everyone else...

Auds at Barking Mad said...

2008 can definitely blow me. I'm so glad it's gone.

However, I found a lot of wonderful blogs/writers and I'm lucky to have found you! Here's to a 2009 that doesn't suck ass and to getting to know new bloggy friends better!

Melanieshea said...

Happy 2009

Jen said...

Man, that was some year. I hope that 2009 is totally better for you!

Linda S said...

here's to forgetting the crap and living for tomorrow!

Weith Kick said...

Yeah, I think 2008 has been rough for a lot of us. Your friend Cheryl's comment made me think of a quote from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Ed Rooney says, "Between grief and nothing, I'll take grief." I am not making light of the difficulty of 2008, but just showing that like what your friend Cheryl says, that the low times help us appreciate the good times.

Whenever I get down I just think of "boob cheese." That always picks me up.

I'll be looking forward to more of your insights for 2009! Happy New Year, Swirly!!!

Mama Kat said...

Here ye here ye. And may 2009 bring you loads of money. Contrary to popular belief it actually can buy you happiness.

I hope this is a much better year...inside and out...without the curves.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Cheers to our collective asses, SG. Thanks for always being there in my comment section.

nikkicrumpet said...

Yikes...2008 did suck for you! I sure hope 2009 kicks things back into a good place and stays there the whole time....and when you post for 2009...you look back fondly and give it a big old kiss and hug and thank it for not biting your in the now smaller and firmer ass!

Susan said...

Since I'm fairly new to reading you, I didn't know some of the horrid shit you've been through just this past year. I have to say, that was an awesome post - and I actually needed things to be put into perspective for me today. Thanks for that. And here's to 2009.

Mama Dawg said...

Happy New Year. May 2009 be a much better year for you!

Lula! said...

2009 is going to be so hardcore for us. It will ROCK, Debbie. It will.

And maybe I'll stop calling you "Debbie" this year. Or maybe not. It's kind of my thing, you know?

Kristin said...

great post! Heres to a great year! :)

Anna Lefler said...

Right ON! What an awesome post! My year is already better as a result!

2009 will be a tiny-heinie year...I can just feel it.

XO

Anna

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Hi there, first time here, but, incidentally, I referred to you in a post on my blog today from a comment you left on LiteralDan a while back ... maybe you could stop by and advise me. Also, I think I want to steal/borrow your long list from the previous post. Blah, maybe later, I will shower and put on a bra.

jill jill bo bill said...

A to the men. I am right there with you. 2009 will be wonderful. It HAS to be. LOVE love love that post. My favorite EVER.

Kat said...

How did I miss this one? I know I did not see Homer's ass on my reader. I would so have remembered that!

And 2009 is not starting out so well for me. I am looking for some chchchchanges...

Dr Zibbs said...

I love me some Simpsons.