WTF Wednesday

WTF with the IRS? April 15th has come and gone. The source for much tension around these parts. Since giving up my paying career for my non-paying job 7 years ago...I had been relegated to the title of Taxpayer Spouse. They don't accept Domestic Goddess or Prime Minister as occupation for a SAHM. This year, in an effort to curb costs, the IRS has a way to file the Not EZ forms via the internet. I didn't see the form. I didn't sign the form. I am not even a person anymore. WTF?



WTF with my 9 year old? Two days ago she was Flatsy Patsy. Today she has real live actual little boob-nubs. When I mentioned it to her, she about jumped out of her Sketchers with tweener glee. She said she needs to start wearing push-up camisoles. She is gonna drive me to drink (earlier than usual) Oh hell, it's four o'clock somewhere. Hubby said he noticed the nubs a few days ago..but hasn't stopped shuddering since. Straight up or on the rocks, dear?

WTF miss California? Opposite marriage ? Really? I get the stink you are making. I (sort of) .. agree that if your opinion wasn't wanted, it shouldn't have been requested. You were asked a loaded question (by a loaded asker, I might add)and answered truthfully . But, dear Miss, it wasn't what you said that caused the loss of the crown...it was your delivery. If Miss America is about 'purity', then Miss USA is about 'maturity'. You're not showing a whole lot. We have already exhausted more collective energy on your bitching than the whole matter is worth. You're getting more press than the actual winner. Sour grapes only make good whine.

WTF Vegas? Last weekend in Vegas - we were staying at Planet Hollywood where the Miss USA pageant was held. I have never seen more beautiful people in my life. And moms, sisters, little nieces of the contestants? Lovely. We had a chance to talk to many of them, and their entourage of supporters ( and a large cadre of stylists , (read:gay men)) . They were really very poised and 'on' all the time. What a great time we had. But - WTF Vegas? I go but twice a year to reinvigorate my groove; to feel good about myself. We all know that a good brisk walk down Las Vegas Boulevard usually does wonders for one's ego. The Strip represents middle America. People who would pay $25 for a one ounce of alcohol blue 'drink' in a souvenier Eiffel Tower stein complete with neck strap (you know, so you can give the man a dollar to pet his lizzard- and I mean the amphibian). Vegas is one gigantic buffet of average. Not this weekend. I'm afraid it was me who was in buffet line this go around. Please don't tell me I need to vacation in Pigeon Forge next year.

Totally off subject here, but I saw Mr. Big ...yessiree, Chris Noth. On the roullette table. He's yummy. And while not tall, he is beefy where he should be beefy. I got a chance to slide over and slip him my tongue and mention that I was a big fan. He was gracious. Yum. I managed not to embarrass myself totally, like I did with George. Clooney. Yeah that's right. I had no chance of sharing any me-time with Mr. Big with all those gorgeous contestants and their swooning stylists roaming around.

WTF with my brother and his wife? Facebook knew my bro had shoulder surgery yesterday before his mother and sisters knew. He's fine, the whole thing was successful and all - and that is good news. But even though I usually don't 'dis' family on here, but they don't read this anyway. They probably don't even know it exists. I just don't get why they didn't tell us - their family - and post to their (her) Facebook friends ...My mom is hurt and angry and rightly so. She found out from my sister's email . This is not a case of "I didn't want to worry you" or anything...this is a case of " I don't think about you ". I love my brother, but sometimes...I don't like him very much.

WTF with my teeth? I am forty-fuckin-five years old and I have two cavities. I blame my parents for this one. Dental health is largely hereditary. Add genetics to the fact that I have no calcium production (hypocalcemia) and I'm looking at osteoporosis and rapid(lier than most) tooth decay.