Monday, July 7, 2008

Motivation

I write because I can't stand talking on the phone and I don't know how to text message. I also will have fodder to embarrass my children when it comes time to put together the 'wedding reel' of their lives...complete with Paul Anka singing in the background "Good morning yesterday, you wake up- and time has slipped away..."

Blogging is email for the public. It's fee free therapy. It's acting on a cyber stage. It's substance abuse that doesn't kill you....well, they haven't determined that yet.

Why do you do blog, cruise blogs, comment on blogs, stalk blogs...why?

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it's been six months to the day since my dad passed away. i am still so shocked sometimes of it's finality. like a cold hard slap across my reality. it still sucks. i imagine it always will, but hope it doesn't . denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. just when i think i am doing okay one of my girls will say something about poppy in heaven or that he is dead or we laugh about making a 'poppy face' or something. i guess the fact that i am still paying attention to how many days or months have passed that i am hovering somewhere between bargaining and acceptance. sometimes i hate being a grown up.

12 comments:

Molly said...

I'm sorry that you lost your dad and it is only natural for your emotions to be so raw still. I think the old "time heals" line is crap. I don't think you ever heal, you just don't think about everything so much and it sort of fades into the background.
Sending you big hugs today!

Debbie said...

I came over to tell you that I was TIVO'ing your crossword show...and I was going to be funny. But I can't. I am so very sorry for you. It's nice that you have such wonderful memories. Keep them alive for your girls.

Kaza said...

So sorry about your dad.

As for motivation for blogging, I started by reading blogs and then wanted to join in. I used to journal for myself, but found I didn't have time for it after the little one was born. Blogging allows me a place to express myself and connect with others at the same time. I'm having a blast with it. I rarely lurk unless I just don't have time to comment.

Kat said...

I'm always a wannabe. I saw moms posting about their blogs on a homeschool board that I frequent. So...I had to have one too. It was supposed to be a homeschool blog. But it has morphed into being more about me. And it's my adult interaction most days.

I so understand about your dad. Mine passed away very unexpectedly while Christmas shopping in December 06. We talk about him all the time. In reference to things he would have liked. Or hated. Or about what he's doing in heaven. It helps to keep him present. For me. For my mom. And for my girls - because he had lived with us since before the girls were born - and they didn't know a day without him.

Lula! said...

I'm thinking you're getting a lot of motivation from your Dad. And you're doing a GREAT job.

Ali said...

oooh...i can't wait to embarrass my kids!!

im so so so sorry to hear about your dad.

Swirl Girl said...

thanks everyone!

I really appreciate the good cyber vibes from you all.

I slip in and out of melancholy - now I am back!

love, Swirl Girl

Veronica said...

I am so sorry about your dad-it's been 5 months now since I lost my mom-and your right it's the finality that is so hard to accept...I still don't think I have. It really does stink being a grown up. Blogging has really helped distract me.

Cristin said...

Yep. Being a grown up bites. Sorry about your Dad.

I'm with Kat. Blogging is my only adult interaction (Yes that includes my husband;) most days... free therapy too!

KimmyJ said...

One day at a time. You NEVER get over it, but the aching pain dulls a little over time.

Kandace said...

First, I'm sorry for your loss. I know you've heard it before but as time goes on it gets easier to accept it. I lost my mom 5 months before my college graduation and it was hard. I can say that everyone grieves differently and you are in my thoughts.

Second, I blog because I worked in an office of two people going from a staff of about 45 people I really liked. I needed a place to tell someone, anyone about my life. That, and I too hate talking on the phone. With two kids screaming in the background who would ever want to use the phone?

Colleen said...

Don't worry...you'll eventually be able to laugh about the good times with your dad without wanting to cry immediately afterwards

I blog/cruise/comment/stalk because I get lonely. And because I try to join things to feel part of a group or community. This has been one of the very few instances where it seems to work for me.