The One In Which She is Real

Real *it*y Television Lover that is.

So Hubby calls to say blah, blah, blahdi-da and to be honest, I wasn't really listening. I was busy planning my attack. It was the final 3 on Americal Idol. It is also the premiere of The Real Housewives Of New York City reunion show. And then, it was the premiere episode of The Sopranos The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I'm too busy setting up the DVR and trying to figure out when I'm going to watch all my 'crap' to realize that wasn't a hummingbird that just hit my kitchen window. It's my little one's SuperBall being bounced against the sliding glass. doors. "Stop that now! Go play with some sharp knives and broken glass! Mama's busy!



God Help Me Please. I am addicted to Reality T.V. I am not sure if it is because there is nothing else on (since there is truly very little in the way of creative or compelling sitcoms or dramas anymore), or are these shows like a trainwreck? So gross to look at - but somehow I can't keep my eyes off of it.

Am I all 'holier than thou' when I watch Jon and Kate (and their 8) and sit back in judgement about her harping-shrewness (am I like that to Hubby? Nyahh) and his friggin' dumb-assness (dude, you got 8 kids and all the free hair plugs and those endorsements and make about $50K per episode and paparazzi and don't work anymore and you can't keep that tallywhacker in your pants or at least if you have to waggle your tallywhacker, can't you do it a bit more discreetly ??). Do I watch those vapid housewives and hate every single one of them just hoping that one of them would do something nice or are we supposed to love to hate them?

I have only admiration for the performers on Idol and So You Think You Can Dance. It's the producers and 'un-scripted' writers that I despise. They know that the viewers would rather see the trainwrecks than the really awesome ones, so that is what they waste our time with. What is it about the human psyche that we'd rather spend our time and energy on the freak show attractions than the real talent. It takes a lot of guts to get on a stage, any stage - much less one with a thousand people in the audience and millions of home viewers and sing or dance. As much as we love to see the talent, we love to the ones that suck even more.

Are we that gullible or do we just have bad taste? Jerry Springer wrecked us all lo those many years ago. Jerry, and Judge Judy and shows like COPS that brought stupid people to the forefront. And , we - the viewing public suck those shows up like Bedouins at an oasis slaking our thirst ...drinking it all in. Slurping it up and waiting for more.

If I think back, waaay back....I guess my love for all things Reality TV started back in Beantown with a show called Community Audtions. My sisterbestfriend and I would watch every Sunday. Really bad accordian players or Irish dancers or the occasional talent ("in my own little corner in my own little chair I can be whatever I want to be...." that's for you sis). Then she and I would pretend we were gymnasts and do hand springs off the upholstered chair in the den. Even at our young age, we realized that for every talented performer, there were critics. We'd rate our handsprings like Olympic judges giving high scores to handspringers named Jamie and low scores to the ones named Hilda. Additional points were even given for sticking the the bendy-arched-back-arms-up-in-the-air landing. Only the 'pretty' named gymnasts got those points.

So I think ahead, waaay ahead...to now. With this kurfluffle over the British talent Susan Boyle. The 'ugly duckling' who sings like a beautiful swan. We are so surprised that despite her somewhat bedraggled look, she can sing - really sing. What is wrong with us as a society that we make these assumptions. Being honest, would we would have rather seen her make a fool out of herself and fail miserably? I, for one, am glad she did well. But, being the realist that I am...I know her 15 minutes are almost up and I hope she makes the best of it before she goes postal on the paparrazi for exposing her nude prom photos she posted on Facebook*

*she really didn't do that , so don't go looking on Facebook or googling 'naked susan boyle' because I seriously hope that while she may have gone to her prom, there is nothing worse than seeing a doddy Brit with bad hair and bad teeth naked on YouTube....oh wait a sec , didn't Hugh Grant do something like that??