Swirl Girl's Pearls

**UPDATE!!** Friday
I found Shauna of See My Designs - the wonder woman who designed my blog back in July. She found my header and is working to re-head my beheaded site. Phew!
And, I am not supposed to ask you to click on the ads, but if you choose to do so on your own...well, goody. And, lastly -the beast with 8 babies already has 6 at home and lives with her parents. She has gone into hiding ...or is holding out for a call from TLC. Either way, she's a freak or is starting her own cult. It's okay to drink the Kool-Aid, babe.

Thursday...
So I am so frustrated right now I could seriously hurt someone. It's been a while that I have a good bitch session so hold on to your seats for a touch of Swirl Girl's own special brand of whoop-ass:

1) I decided to follow someone's advice and put Google AdSense on here so I could make tons of money a $1.27 and somehow it deleted my awesome header. So while your clicking on the ad for some TubeLube and Amazondotcom and whatever else AdSense thinks is apropos for my blog (that means do it incessantly 'til your fingers hurt and the ENTER button on your keyboard falls off) - if you find my cute header in your trash somewhere, please send it home. It is amazing how attached you get to something like your cartoon image...I feel naked without it - and there is good naked and bad naked. This is the bad naked.

2) What is so difficult about making lines in the circle at school pick up? People have no problem doing it at McDonalds or Starbucks. But at a school that has 550 students whose parents all come to pick them up? Nope - we are going to drive into the ONE WAY circle and park perpendicularly against the flow of traffic. Make two lines along the curb , pick up your kids , and move along people. Think of it as a drive-thru window...only with less calories. Duh.

3) I had the pleasure of previewing the 'puberty' movie that our school district will be showing our 4th grade girls this week. Great - now after all the hard work I've done in explaining to my 9 year about the changes that will be taking place with her body - she's going to watch this video and start asking even more questions. And, the little time lapsed cartoon anatomical imagery on that video? Think 'Ch-Ch-Chia' vagina with a five o'clock shadow, perky c cup boobies and pimples. Not to mention the part where they intentionally dangle a 'pregnant' pause (pun intended, here) when they state "if the egg is not fertilized by the male sperm, it is expelled through the ..." First of all, is there another kind of sperm besides male sperm? And, my kid will raise her hand and ask how the sperm it gets in there to fertilize the egg!

4) What the fuck with this woman who just had 8 babies here in California ? At the same time! Oh sure, she was all "I'm was planning for 7, but uh-oh, surprise - the doctors pulled out 8!" And, she is planning to breast feed. How? More importantly - Why?? I guess if your going to have mulitples...then you should go big or go home. Twins, triplets or quads is pretty cool . But if your going to have 4, you may as well have 7 or 9. That qualifies you for lots of free shit like car seats, diapers for life, and probably a show on The Learning Channel. Not to mention, some plastic surgeon will offer you a tummy tuck, and your tits can go on tour in Vegas for the newest Cirque de Soleil puppet show.

I know some people who'd love one of those babies. Seriously - she probably wouldn't even know if one was missing.


I am going to bang my head against the wall now.