I'm Fun Mommy...today

As is the custom on summer weekends , we frequent the P.U.D.'s (planned urban development)pool. Alot. Now that Rachel is swimming, I don't have to be in the pool at all times. I can be, if I want to. And, the past few days, I have wanted to. Apparantly so do the other P.U.D. dwellers, because the powers that be have chosen to overdose the pool with extra chlorine - so much so that the brights of summer swimsuits have already started to fade, and the blonde haired P.U.D. dwellers' blonde hairs are turning green. I can usually be seen with hair tied up in big knot, sunglasses atop the crown (not to protect my eyes, but to act as a headband), floating on a noodle, squinting - occasionally I toss a ball, or squirt some kind of water pistol. I just don't want to submerge. I tell my girls it's because I need to keep an eye on them (yeah, right) or I don't like getting water up my nose (that is partly the truth) but truth is I don't want to screw with my hair.

Yesterday, after many attempts at avoiding the full dunk - aah, who am I kidding, I don't even like getting splashed above the chin for fear that I might instantly turn into the big afro bear from the Hair Bear Bunch" (*see insert above) Hanna Barbera cartoon anyone? Adam Ant/ Secret Squirrel anyone, anyone? I poof up to insta-fro status in no time - I finally relented and went all in. My girls, who are all over Hubby like a wet-suit getting thrown and swung and such are all agog that Mommy dunked her head! Like they had just witnessed the actual Jonas Brothers jump into our P.U.D's pool. Mommy dunked her head!! All the while, I am planning the next moves. How do I get out and cover both my big ass and my big hair? Are we going anywhere tonight? Nahh, we never do. I need an hour to shower, landscape and blow dry...when am I gonna get the hour? If I go to sleep with wet head, how can I go anywhere in the morning? Clearly you need a plan! Act quickly!

Me. "Girls, tomorrow we are coming to the pool again."

them: "Yeah! Can we have a picnic?"

Me. " sure, and (we'll stay out all day especially since the #$@#% neighbors are

having a new patio put in and I'd rather listen to radiodisney AM 1110 on full

blast through a tunnel than listen to the sound of frickin' jackhammers that start

at 7:27 a.m. ) we'll bring the noodles and water toys and snacks, oh my!

them: "Yaaayeee!" Will you dunk your head mommy?

Me: "Sure, I'll dunk my head."

them: "..and be 'fun mommy' and swim for real under water across the bottom of the pool?

...canyoucanyouohpleaseohpleaseohpleasebe FUN Mommy?"

Me: "sure (as opposed to what, sucky mommy?), but then I get my hour - right?

So that's what we did today. I was Fun Mommy for real ohpleaseohpleaseohplease, and then I got my hour to take care of 'bidness.

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One more thing...I am famous even more so than my most wildest dreams (I have low expectations, no?) You see, a clip of my first (only) movie role has been unearthed by Lula of Lulaville. She has started a Monday music tribute post and this week's is 80's dance music. Now, go to her page...http://www.lulaville.com/2008/07/mad-musical-monday.html scroll down to the last video clip ...It's the music video from a one hit wonder called Pretty Poison. The video is of a song from a cheesy Jon Cryer movie. I used to date the extras casting agent and I was an extra on the movie and my 'scene' is part of this video! It's a good thing Lula found it since I don't even know if the movie was ever released or if my scene ever made it the final cut. (that's show biz talk for final product) Now, as I recall, the scene is about Jon's character running from the bad guys through a train station in Boston. You can watch the video 80's dance band interspersed with clips from the movies. Now, slowly move the video counter to 1:06. There is a white cement post and Jon Cryer practically mows down a woman (or a black cement post) in a cloak like black peacoat with dark brown, long, curly hair. Did you blink? Did you see me?? Of course, my back is the camera (evidentally not my best side)-and it was friggin' cold in Boston that day. I remember 'running' the scene (that's showbiz talk again, sorry-you know how we actors can get. It means rehearsing) trying to come up my characters motivation for waiting for the train that day. Was she going to work? Had she just had a bad breakup? Was she trying to remember where the Kraft Services was? (showbiz for catering truck). But, the scene went so quickly and Jon ran so swiftly, our arms brushing against one another like so many fallen leaves. He made the train and escaped the bad guys. I got my $50 check, a bad lunch and a cold sore from standing out in the frickin' cold for 6 hours.

Aaah, Good Times, Good Times.

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And one more leeetle thing - my game show re-airs July 11th on NBC. Merv Griffin's Crosswords usually airs two half hour shows in most markets. Mine is the second half hour show. I am the one who didn't win, who's seafoam green twin set looks pee-pee yellow under all the lights, who looks oddly uncomfortable in lipstick and hairspray, who answered only a few question (faulty buzzer for sure) - the one standout is: 5 letters for Gumbi's Dog. POKEY!!

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I'm Fun Mommy - with frizzy hair who clearly watched too much t.v. as a youngster.

Four Random Things

Happy 4th Of July!

Cake architect Emily Rose's top down view and cross section of the plan. Pound cake, cool whip, strawberries and blueberries to make the plan happen. Little Sissy Rachel is there to help attack, er-um, eat the finished product. There ain't nothin' nutritious about this one!

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Opposite of Jeopardy is Wheel of Fortune:

We have a friend who was just on Jeopardy! I don't know if she won or lost, but I figured she must have won if she was going to have a 'Viewing Party'. Why would you have a party for your television premiere unless you came out looking good. We planned to go to this party, so this is my conversation with Emily about it.



Me: "We are going to watch "jane" on Jeopardy tonight"
Emily. "Oh, I know Jeopardy. That's the show where you have to be really smart, right?"
Me: " Yes, you are provided with the answers and you have to give the questions. "
Emily. " What's the other one, the opposite of Jeopardy?"
Me: " I guess a show where you are asked questions, and have to give the answers, right?"
Emily. " No, it's the one where you have words, and you have to guess the letters."
Me: "You mean like the one I was one?"
Emily. "No, that one was lame. This one is really hard...the people are super brains - Oh, I know- Wheel of Fortune!"



I always thought Wheel of Fortune was the dumbest show ever. They've even reduced it to giving you like 12 of the 26 letters in the alphabet. The contestants are sooo much pressure to have to choose from a whole 26 letters - And the prizes you had to choose from in the show's 'younger' days sucked. Remember? Really, who wants a capidamonte leopard door stop anyway? Nowadays, I think they just give you money. Maybe a trip or a car, but no more living room suites and ski-doos, too much to choose from. But I digress....



You're not supposed to tell anyone if you won or lost. In fact, when you tape your show, you sign a non-disclosure statement. They could take your winnings away from you if get caught squaking or reveal any top secret information. I know all of this from personal experience as I, too , was on a game show which aired last September. "Merv Griffin's Crosswords". Kind of a lame show (according to Emily) with no studio audience. As an avid crossword puzzler, I answered an ad in the LATimes for contestants. Yada, yada, yada - I made it on the show. I taped in July of '07 and it aired in September. One of the first shows, too! I did not tell anyone, because I did not win (#1) and I wondered to myself - "is that what I really look like?" (#2) and I did not win (#3). -Even if I did win - I think the most you could win was like $2500 and an equally lame trip, to like a deluxe guest room the Redondo Beach Marriot, or something. (note: now they have changed the show after realizing that the first contestants were actually 'throwing' the answers instead of having to win and pay taxes on lameness). I did, however receive a consolation prize -the ugliest watch I own- for my efforts. I taped my show early ( they tape about 5 a day), so I didn't even get to stay for the catered lunch. Bitter much?

So- we saw "Jane" last night. She did not win - in fact, she had a few good runs on categories (like TV theme songs) - of which I swept the category, but came in 3rd place. I know how it is to know an answer, hit your hand buzzer, get all flummoxed , and try to stay in the game. You keep thinking to yourself "I knew that", or "something's wrong with my buzzer", or "man, what's that guy been doing for the past 8 years...memorizing the Bible, the Declaration of Independence, and 14th century Czarism?" Good going "Jane" but if I were you I wouldn't have told anyone until I saw it first. Win or lose, you gotta make sure you look good on TV before you set the DVR and send out the invites.

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Economic Stimulus

I took out a mailbox yesterday. Backed straight out of a curved driveway. I've never done that before. Pretty crappy scratch on my car...and mailbox paint. I think I just figured out how to spend our economic stimulus check. I wanted to use it to stimulate Vegas' economy....or not.
I cried about it yesterday. Oh- and the mailbox is fine, in case you were concerned.

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The Best Chocolate Ever

We went to dinner at a pretty upscale Italian restaurant here in town. A place that I normally wouldn't take kids, but mine are well behaved and eat a variety of foods, so I wasn't that concerned. The server was real genuine Italian (as were 1/2 the employees there). From Tuscany. We were chatting about the kids being chocolate freaks, and she starts to go on and on about the very best chocolate and mint she has ever had. In her fantastically rolling Tuscan- American accent - my mouth was watering as she described it. Then, a few moments later, she comes back with a treat. She hands us a ...York Peppermint Patty! A frickin' York Peppermint Patty? That's the motto bene-est chocolate and mint decadance you've ever had?? I accepted her gift and chuckled all the way home.

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And, finally....

Fireworks in Thousand Oaks. Not the Capitol Steps - or the Magic Kingdom for that matter. but just as effective.

I always wondered why- with half the state on fire ...they let these celebrations go on. Now, for some left over Flag Cake....yummmmm!

My baby don't mess around!

Real quick - big doings here at the G's Spot!

First day of camp for the little one. No calls from camp. From 9 - 3 pm and let me just say
YYYYYEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAWWWWW! She did it! Took care of bizness on both ends, shall we say! Outside of the house and without me!

Phew! Each time the phone rang (all two times), I shook with fear.

When I picked her up this was our conversation...and I don't feel abashed to share it with all of you since EVERYONE in Thousand Oaks has heard this from her - or at least the gelato lady at Whole Foods, and the check out guy there too, and the counselors at big Sissy's camp, and my sister who just had to be called, and ....


Me: Rachel, do you know how amazingly proud I am of you today?
Rachel: This is the best day ever!
Me: Doesn't it make your insides feel good when you are proud of yourself?
Rachel: I listened weller than I thought, mom. I did it two times and all by myself.
Me: Yes - now a whole new world of fun things can happen for you and the family.
Rachel: This is the best day EVER! Now we can go on a cruise, right? (hint, hint Hubby)

May you all be blessed with a pooper.