I think I am so clever...but I need some help in the design department. I think if I were to win this contest offerred by SITS (see sidebar for link) that not only would my blog be fancy...but words would flow from my fingers like the muse I think I am.
Check out http://www.eightcrazydesigns.blogspot.com/ to see what is offerred and cross your fingers that I win. You know when you are all dressed up to go out, you walk taller and feel better? Well, if my blog was all dressed up, I would write smarter and more often. Here's to trying. (swirl and sip the rose now)
Even if I don't win, you should come back and leave comments for me...
I need to learn a few things about blogging. I always thought I was clever and funny and wiser than everyone else until I started 'trolling' and reading others' web logs. There are some great writers out there. As soon as I figure out how to do it, I will add their blogs via a listing of blogs I read every day. I could really be friends with some of you out there! No, really. I could.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Practically Perfect In Every Way
-describes Mary Poppins of course...for those who have not seen the movie in 20 years.
The phrase also describes my Rachel. She is just delicious, ya know. I always take 50% of the credit for that. Hubby gets the other 50%. We are good parents. No- we are great parents. Lots of love, a goodly amount of patience, two terrific senses of humor, an awesome big sister for little Ray Ray to emulate -whom we raised as well (see how that works?) We have the same goals for our kids. We, as parents, balance each other really well. We have been reading to our kids since they were mere specks of rice in utero. We always laugh, praise, encourage and nourish. We gently admonish (snarky grin) when necessary careful not to break those delicately maturing psyches. And are firm when called for. Basically, you get the gist. We are awesome. Jump back, kiss myself, kiss, kiss.
But the title of this post is a giveaway that all is not perfect - it's practically perfect. I am ashamed to admit this but as parents we SUCK at one thing. Potty Training. Yes- we have a 4 year old who just won't do her thing #1 without me standing at the bathroom door and #2 on the potty at all. She is a friggin' camel. Holds her water all the live long day! And the poop thing? No amount of bribery, cajoling, enticement will do it for her.
This is a rundown of suggestions from friends, parents, self-help guides, teachers, doctors...and what we have tried and what hasn't worked to date.
Treats: Tried the jellybeans, m&m's, hershey bars, cookies, gum, standing rib roast, new porche, house in Maui....nothing will make this kid 'sing'. I have given treats for just the mere mention of recognizing that 'tickle' in her tummy. I have left a trail of treats from the family room to the potty. She walked around them like they weren't there. I have gift wrapped the treats in pretty packages and left them on the bathroom sink. She asks "what's that?" and as soon as I tell her that if she goes on the potty, she can open it and find out. She stops asking and pretends they are not there anymore. I have even found the gift in the trashcan on several occasions.
Disney: We'll go there as soon as she goes there. "I don't want to go Disney" (her)
Sleepovers: You can't go there unless you go there. " I don't want a sleepover"(her)
Dinner and a Movie/ vacation/ anywhere that takes more than 2 hours I can't go there unless she goes there. " I wanna go to dinner and movie/vacation/anywhere that takes more than 2 hours " (me)
Summer Camp/Pool Party/the new Wall-e movie/playland at the mall/ the park /outside to play/in my room you get it?? You can't go anywhere until you GO there!!! "I don't want to do anything". (her)
I am basically held captive by my child's bowels. If I stop giving in (which I have once or twice), she holds it in until her eyes fill with tears (an pee) and she is doubled over in pain. What am I to do? When we do leave her with a sitter, she doesn't go at all. Except with 'illa' our one day a week nanny/housekeeper who has been with us since Rachel was 6 months old. And with her it is only in dire emergency.
I try not to get angry - but time's a tickin'! We have plans in October and I don't want to cancel them because my kid won't open the floodgates on a regular basis. I am usually against this kinda thing - but I'll take any suggestions. Chances are - we've tried it.
You see, the 50% she got from me includes stubborness and giving the silent treatment. She will not give. And when we try to discuss it, she clams up tight. Goes all "Tommy, can you hear me?" on us. I do that too. Even when I know I am wrong- I will not relent. I will go stone silent. The tension can be palpable. That's my contribution to the fold...well, about 10% of my half, anyway.
Other than this one little thing - well, this one BIG thing - the kid is perfect!! Seriously, she is easy going, happy, funny, sweet, smart, physically adept, warm, charming...I can go on and on and on. The kid's a freak of nature in more ways than one. In this one way, she is the wrath of nature.
I need help. Professional help maybe. And not just for the kid.
*author's note: this post is dedicated solely to Rachel. I am sure, in time, I will devote much blogging to Emily Rose as I am sure that I will have embarrassing parental admissions of failure regarding her upbringing as well.
The phrase also describes my Rachel. She is just delicious, ya know. I always take 50% of the credit for that. Hubby gets the other 50%. We are good parents. No- we are great parents. Lots of love, a goodly amount of patience, two terrific senses of humor, an awesome big sister for little Ray Ray to emulate -whom we raised as well (see how that works?) We have the same goals for our kids. We, as parents, balance each other really well. We have been reading to our kids since they were mere specks of rice in utero. We always laugh, praise, encourage and nourish. We gently admonish (snarky grin) when necessary careful not to break those delicately maturing psyches. And are firm when called for. Basically, you get the gist. We are awesome. Jump back, kiss myself, kiss, kiss.
But the title of this post is a giveaway that all is not perfect - it's practically perfect. I am ashamed to admit this but as parents we SUCK at one thing. Potty Training. Yes- we have a 4 year old who just won't do her thing #1 without me standing at the bathroom door and #2 on the potty at all. She is a friggin' camel. Holds her water all the live long day! And the poop thing? No amount of bribery, cajoling, enticement will do it for her.
This is a rundown of suggestions from friends, parents, self-help guides, teachers, doctors...and what we have tried and what hasn't worked to date.
Treats: Tried the jellybeans, m&m's, hershey bars, cookies, gum, standing rib roast, new porche, house in Maui....nothing will make this kid 'sing'. I have given treats for just the mere mention of recognizing that 'tickle' in her tummy. I have left a trail of treats from the family room to the potty. She walked around them like they weren't there. I have gift wrapped the treats in pretty packages and left them on the bathroom sink. She asks "what's that?" and as soon as I tell her that if she goes on the potty, she can open it and find out. She stops asking and pretends they are not there anymore. I have even found the gift in the trashcan on several occasions.
Disney: We'll go there as soon as she goes there. "I don't want to go Disney" (her)
Sleepovers: You can't go there unless you go there. " I don't want a sleepover"(her)
Dinner and a Movie/ vacation/ anywhere that takes more than 2 hours I can't go there unless she goes there. " I wanna go to dinner and movie/vacation/anywhere that takes more than 2 hours " (me)
Summer Camp/Pool Party/the new Wall-e movie/playland at the mall/ the park /outside to play/in my room you get it?? You can't go anywhere until you GO there!!! "I don't want to do anything". (her)
I am basically held captive by my child's bowels. If I stop giving in (which I have once or twice), she holds it in until her eyes fill with tears (an pee) and she is doubled over in pain. What am I to do? When we do leave her with a sitter, she doesn't go at all. Except with 'illa' our one day a week nanny/housekeeper who has been with us since Rachel was 6 months old. And with her it is only in dire emergency.
I try not to get angry - but time's a tickin'! We have plans in October and I don't want to cancel them because my kid won't open the floodgates on a regular basis. I am usually against this kinda thing - but I'll take any suggestions. Chances are - we've tried it.
You see, the 50% she got from me includes stubborness and giving the silent treatment. She will not give. And when we try to discuss it, she clams up tight. Goes all "Tommy, can you hear me?" on us. I do that too. Even when I know I am wrong- I will not relent. I will go stone silent. The tension can be palpable. That's my contribution to the fold...well, about 10% of my half, anyway.
Other than this one little thing - well, this one BIG thing - the kid is perfect!! Seriously, she is easy going, happy, funny, sweet, smart, physically adept, warm, charming...I can go on and on and on. The kid's a freak of nature in more ways than one. In this one way, she is the wrath of nature.
I need help. Professional help maybe. And not just for the kid.
*author's note: this post is dedicated solely to Rachel. I am sure, in time, I will devote much blogging to Emily Rose as I am sure that I will have embarrassing parental admissions of failure regarding her upbringing as well.
Monday, June 2, 2008
What's Up With That, Anyway...
To steal a line from a famous sitcom - What's Up With That??
What's up with customer service? Or, should I say - lack of customer service? The other day, I am at the local 'very expensive organic market' whose brand I am careful not to besmirch as I might ask for cashier position there someday (if the economy keeps this way) and after buying delicious fresh fruits and veggies - I head over to my favorite place ...the cheese and wine department! I could spend hours there...tasting and comparing. So- in the midst of my lactose coma brought upon by my 'would you mind if i have a taste of this?'-ness - I found 6 bottles of yummy wine to pair nicely with the cheeses, and some hors d'houevres that my Chef Du Jour friend Debby was fixing for the evening (more on that later) - I wended my way to the checkout lane.
$195.00 later ( no 2 buck chuck for me!) and I asked for a 6 bottle cardboard carrier for the wine. The response was, "Uh, I think you have to buy those now." I am all -'you're kidding me' and the kid shouts across the checkout lanes to the most tatoo-ed and pierced one (which seems to be a prerequisite to work there) who confirms my disbelief. She (at least I think it was a she as androgyny is the other prerequisite) says "Yeah - I'll give it to you today, but next time you have to buy it." Sheepishly, I accept the offer of the cardboard and leave the store; all the while accepting the stares and glares of other shoppers who, unlike me, have their re-usable thermo shopping bags and bamboo baby slings strung about them.
Now, I might be making a big deal out of nothing...here I am spending $4.99 on organic milk, $5.99 for organic strawberry's, and some serious wine and I am complaining about having to buy a cardboard box. But- what is up with that? The friggin' tree is already dead. I shouldn't have to buy the container I am going to carry home with me and re-use for future purchases. (snarky grin)
So this morning - I went to my local 'large box grocery store' whose name shall also be withheld in case I chicken out on the tatoo and cartlidge piercing , and I need job there- because as much as I like to buy organic and locally grown...there are just 'nationally known' brands of things that I can't do without (Welch's, Skippy and Charmin to name but a few). The music they play may not be as good, but I do weekly shopping there for things like plastic baggies and laundry detergent. Today, Rachel and I are at the store, and the little 'club' key tag thingy that I has been dangling off my keychain is gnarled and doesn't scan. The cashier promptly shouts 'Why don't you get a new one, this one stinks' To that I reply "I have tried 3 times to get a new one (and I have) and nothing has been sent to me yet." She is relentless and tells me how easy it is to do. I say I know and have filled out the transfer request 3 times. She goes on to tell me (or yell me as the case may be) that all I have to do is fill out the request form and she'll give me a new key tag right away. "You just fill out the thing check off transfer and they'll send you a new one you probably will lose your points and stuff blah, blah,blah" She lost me at 'fill out'.
On and on she goes-with each plea her voice getting louder and louder. On and on I say how I have already sent 3 requests...yada,yada,yada. She is still going on as I pack my own groceries (in plastic, not paper , shame on me), pack up my kid, pay for the load and head out the door. Granted cashiers at 'large box grocery store' are not awful people, but some of their people skills are just awful. Was she on commission for card replacement or auditioning for carnival barker or to be the one who calls over the loudspeaker...Irv, cleanup on aisle 5! What is up with that?
I have to get a blood test today. Or, should I say - another blood test. Since the D.A.C. (dumb ass cancer for those who are either new to my postings or need a refresher in swirlgirlese) I have to go every 3-4 weeks to check TSH levels so I can get my new dose of Synthroid. And, as I am still having problems with this 'pins and needles' feeling and my lips are still burning and my hands , neck, stomach and other various muscles keep cramping - this time around the Doc is checking calcium and a few other things. So, last week I went in for my routine blood test at the lab where I always go. We have new insurance, so they have to photocopy everything all over again. I should have recognized that 20 minute process as an omen. I get a call from my Doc's office that the lab called and said that it will take up to 10 days to run the test. 10 friggin' days? It used to be overnight! Maybe it's the new insurance- I don't know. But I do know that I am out of Synthroid and now I have to get a few pills to tide me over. So, as ridiculous as this sounds (synthroid is a $4 prescription), I go to the pharmacy and beg the guy for a few pills to tide me over. Friggin' insurance. He says - "If I fill this, insurance will not let another fill for another 30 days". We're not talking narcotics ...this is synthroid. So, the pharmacy guy 'sells' me 3 pills for $1 each. I am so frustrated, I just take it and leave. Remember, I just spent $6.00 on a pint of strawberries...what's another couple o' bucks?
Now, I get a call from Doc's office that lab did not have sufficient sample to run the tests. Is that code for 'oops, we screwed up and lost it? Is this because new insurance will only pay for blood tested at the same crappy lab that also makes those crappy key tags that can't be scanned? I have to go back to have more blood taken. This time I have to go to the hospital. What a freakin' pain in the neck. Find a parking spot in the garage, go to information desk, wait for 1 hour in registration, go to lab, wait there for 20 minutes...get the stick for 30 seconds. Now, I have to do this each time I need to give blood, which is every month by the way. I hate hospitals. And, this one I hate the most as it brings up a couple of uncontrollable waves (tsunami's) of emotion. I had my gall bladder removed here on Xmas eve '06 with Familla Godzilla , the nurse that would scare the crap out of Nurse Ratchit (a la Cuckoo's Nest) on the ward that night. And, on January 10th of this year, I was here to have my Fine Needle Aspiration to find out I have D.A.C. at the very moment that I got the call my wonderful dad had passed away. I couldn't walk out the door of the building without the wave (tsunami) hitting me. Needless to say, I don't look forward to my monthly visits there. I need to find another entrance and egress route if I am going to do this regularly. The emotional toll is too much for me.
Then, to top it all off, I stepped in some friggin' gum that some cow spit out on the ground. Gum. That crap should be banned. Gum - and discount key tag cards and gummi anything's and D.A.C., and......
What's up with all that, anyway?
Ps- check out my other site http://www.swirlgirlevents.com/ to find out more about my new business venture. I am revisiting SWIRL, Simple Wine Information for Real Life, at the behest of Debby of Chef Du Jour ...she cooks, I swirl - we all have a good time!!
Pss- I am becoming quite the blog-her...click on the link for The Secret is in the Sauce to the right for some Best Of blog entries...I am trying to win a contest here! Humor Me! http://www.thesecretisinthesauce.blogspot.com/
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