Twas the night before Boo-day and all through the house
not a creature was stirring, 'cuz Mommy's a louse.
The costumes were chosen with the greatest of care
but Mommy refuses to spray paint their hair.
No pumpkin was carved, no decor to be found
Mommy sucks, there's no candy around!
For Kindergarten, the little ones parade around school,
and Mommy wasn't there to film it - the fool.
You see - Halloween's not my thing. Nor are most Holidays.
I show my affection in much different ways.
I buy candy just before the hour falls
icky things I don't like, like Cabbage Patch Sour Balls.
I'd just as soon give them candy - 'cuz I'm lazy
and save all the effort of door -to-door knockin - You must think I'm crazy!
Is it wrong that we'll travel with wagon behind?
Not for them, but for me - to carry the wine!!
Be safe !