Saturday, October 3, 2009

The One In Which There is Abundance of Self-Deprecating Humor

We all do it, don't we? Come on, you know you do it. And if you are sitting there saying you don't ever do it, you're lying. I can't get through a day without it. Ah, who am I kidding - I can barely get through a post without doing it.

Self -Deprecating humor {thought I was going in a completely other direction there for a moment, huh?}...and when I do it - it's okay. Making fun of myself has long been an intricate part of my psyche. I, like many, use this kind of 'poke fun at oneself' humor as an ice breaker. I use it to make people laugh. I use snarcasm and wit to deflect. I like people to think I am funny. But, sometimes I forget 'who's in the room' when I let shit fly out of my mouth. My children have become so used to hearing my little sayings and jokes (read: curse words and snark) that they have become part and parcel of what they define as Mommy.


The thing is, when they repeat this stuff -it ceases to be self-deprecating humor since it is no longer the self doing the deprecating.


Like just this past Friday, what the 10 year old said while on line at the Frozen Juice Bars at school . Someone had a coconut juice bar (just ewww) they were trying to push . I was all , "No , I'll pass on the coconut juice. But if you have a Frito flavored one back there..." trying to make a joke since what I really wanted was the whole box of Really Bad For You Fudgie Pops that was purchased accidentally and they stick in the back of the freezer. Emily says "Yeah, mom is a total grease and salt junkie. Once, when she was in Rehab -she was totally jonesing for was a bag of chips."

{crickets...from the other PTA mommies standing with their kids on the All Natural , Organic, and, Whenever Possible-Tree Nut and Gluten Free Frozen Friday Treat line}



"Ha , ha (read: totally nervous titter..) Ha, ha...What she meant to say was when I was rehabilitating from surgery ...I was given a institutional size bag of chips as a Get Well gift by a friend who was told (by my children, BTW) when asked "what does mommy like to do?" that mommy's favorite food group is the To's group ..Chee, Fri, Dori and Pota and hence the joke. Not rehab...Ha, ha. Not that there's anything wrong with that...."



{more crickets...and sensing dissolution of PTA By-Laws naming me as President of the PTA and chair person of the Just Say No to Junk in My Lunchbox program we're running )

The thing is, the other part of the joy of self-deprecating humor is that it needs no explanation. So when an explanation of the joke follows...it again ceases to be self- deprecating humor since it is no longer humorous.


I forget. My kids neeed to be reminded that what we talk about around the house is our business and shouldn't be repeated. Okay? So maybe I need to wait a few more years for that . Snark is a hard habit to break. And just now I am listening to Emily telling her friend's mom that she " is starting to look more and more like my mom as I get older. She tells everyone that I have a horseface (read: long and oval shaped- which I do . And, no, I don't describe her as a horseface - but I have been known to call myself a horseface every now and then especially when trying on sunglasses or hats which just look terrible on my big foreheaded horsey-face =-)** now that I'm going through pre-puberty." Oh crap-bloody-tastic. "C'mon Em - gotta go! The liquor store is getting their gift with purchase holiday displays delivered this week! If we hurry, I can complete that set of Jaegermeister and Red Bull snow globes I've been trying for!!"

{{ even more crickets and the sounds of ink to paper scratching out titles of positive self -image websites and parenting guides }}

That and the fact that we;re having soup and salad (read: a dry martini with extra olives) instead of dinner tonight.

When in rehab Rome.....





**see? It's just not funny when you have to explain.

15 comments:

Jessica G. said...

Ah, yes...the crickets frequently chirp. They just don't get my sense of humor. ;)

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

JenJen said...

Kids. Can't cage them, can't let them out of the house.

Justine said...

I have to disagree. I think it's MoRE funny when you have to explain. OmG, this post was fabulously entertaining!

Justine ;o )

sassy stephanie said...

Man, don't you wish we could install a filter on their little mouths that only we could control???

Anonymous said...

I agree about humor. I am writing a new book called Snippets, short, snappy , stories and some of my readers have said " You are an Erma Brombeck. For example, eavesdropping is really tough when you are deaf!I know, I have tried it. Thanks for your comments. I love my new car. Fancy Nancy

Aunt Becky said...

Yeah, the minute you have to explain a joke, you know you've lost your audience. And then, the flames of shame start licking up my face and I flush.

*sighs*

Loves that. And by "love" I mean "loathe."

I'd have laughed.

Cristin said...

When my kids talk about Mommy going to rehab it won't be the getting better after surgery kind.

Danielle said...

I thought it was funny. Rehab. :)

Mama Dawg said...

Yeah, I'm having to explain to my 9 year old that not everyone gets AND appreciates sarcasm and to maybe tone it down outside of the house.

Pollyanna said...

I get you! My kids are too young to understand sarcasm so they take everything I say literally. I suppose that's pretty funny all in itself, but not so much when they share with their teachers at school.

Always Home and Uncool said...

My kids only appear to hear the things I say to other people in their presence but never the things I say direct to them. Which is good b/c I can swear all I want at them now.

Susan said...

Wait. Are you saying there's something wrong with rehab?

CaraBee said...

I am really, really not looking forward to the day when my daughter repeats what I say. Because we'll probably wind up with a visit from Child Services.

Fannie said...

Ah, but you will appreciate their finely honed wit when they're older and start telling stories of their own!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Oh sure, it's awkward now, but your kids will be brilliantly funny when they are older. So worth it.