The One In Which " #@&$! Off" Was Not An Appropriate Response

So I volunteered in my Kindergartener's class today. I love the little cherubs. Really I do. So full of wonder and hungry to learn. Like they are just amazed that the 'i' sound can either say 'eye' or 'ih' . Who woulda thunk it? Volunteering in kindergarten tap's my inner Martha Stewart because cutting laminated paper squares is about as crafty as I get...or can handle. And, yes- I use big scissors.

So we split up into centers and I am in charge of the Ten Table. On this table we have toothpicks and the kids have to count 10 toothpicks and make little designs with them. This challenge is also well within my purview...I can do 10 (okay, so it was hard to make little pictures with the sticks without breaking them in half, but I did my best. )

The kids see things differently ...more purely - so when one of the little 'Rainmen' dumped 246 sticks on the table ("82,82,82, 246...there are four left in the box") and made a campfire, I applauded his creative mind.

One little girl, who was staring intently at me - came up with this question: "Why come you face be's all like that? " She asked , taking her hand and sweeping it across her brow in an arch. I was a bit confused, and then I realized that this chick was dissin' my face. Crap - you'd think I was all totally-Mother-Theresa-type-unbotoxed-old lady wrinkly!

*Not me...not yet.

I said those were my eyebrow smiles. Then we all practiced raising our eyebrows up and down. (which I realized that most children can't do purposefully...) And I can even raise one up and down, and wiggle my ears, and roll my tongue and all kinds of other stupid people tricks. The children quickly stopped making stick pictures and started to count the lines on my forhead and around my eyes. Can't wait until they get home and tell their parents what they learned at school. Wear sunscreen kids - or you'll end up like this broad.

So my little one, who has heard me say this many times , says "Mommy, you are supposed to only make a design with 10 toothpicks. You're always wearing your 11!" ( this is what I refer to as the permanant lines between my eyebrows...my squint lines. a la this -> ^ ll ^ )

I had to laugh and just hugged her.**







**...because telling her to 'Fuck Off' was not the appropriate response.