Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The One Where It's All Good**

The Starts: The little one is kind of nervous about going to school. The big one decides a spa day is called for. Mommy's all "what about me?" No, seriously - what about me? They played spa for hours. And I am so cool with that. So long as the craptastic kiddie nuclear waste make-up actually washes off...can't have my cuties going to school looking like totstitutes or anything (much to the chagrin of retailers everywhere who have flooded their young minds with such images in the back- to- school catalogs and who would like us to believe that just because it's all tartan -plaid, a strapless tube top is appropriate for a 9 year old)

First day of school was last Thursday. A whole week ago - and I have been busy. Not in the 'oh poor me' way of being busy. I thrive on routine and schedules. Not much of a spontaneous person as you know, so for me - this busy has been a good busy.

This kind of busy, though, has kept me away from my bloggy-goodness. Lo siento para eso. I have lots of tiny pieces of paper with all kinds of blog-worthy moments scawled on them. I just haven't had the time or motivation to string it all together into a coherent post. So you get this one. HA!

Oh sure, the starts are exciting...the start of a new school year for the 5th grader. The start of Kindergarten for the little one! The start of the age of Swirl Girl in her first term as PTA President...(shoot me now). I've been swallowed up into the vortex and have two more years before I am spit out of the Black Hole of volunteerism.

Our eldest unmarried daughter begged for an email address. So I set her up with one with major parental monitoring. I don't want her corresponding with any Nigerian princes or anything. She has a running commentary with her Grandpa and Grandma and her Uncle Steven affectionately know round these parts as Uncle Esteban. Here's a sample of the mind of a 9 and 361/365ths year old (and for those of you slow on the whole math thingy - she'll be 10 next week)

Uncle Esteban-
My first day of school was hot,and hard. I was wearing jeans and boots! Also, We
had a ton of homework, AND we had to write a 2 page essay! Ho do you like that
for the 5th grade worklaod?

Rachel is loving kindergarten.She says it's off the hook!

Oh, so the other day mom says "I wanna take a nap." And I'm like, "yeah, you
haven't taken naps all summer," and dad is like, "I think it's a season thing
you know what I mean? She takes naps in the winter." So I say "Yeah, so in the
winter, Mommy hibernates!" And we all start craking up!
From big bear to another,

But what's a good start without a fit or two...

The Fits :

It's 102 degrees in the shade the past week. As you have read from her email to Uncle , the big one wanted to wear her skinny jeans , layered tees and her Sketcher suede boots to school. I tell her she's nuts. She had a fit. Wears the outfit anyway (and who could blame her since we now know that skinny jeans really do look good on tweener girls with bubble butts and meat on their bones) She tells her Uncle via that email and deprives me of a worthy "I told you so" moment. I had a fit.

The little one wears leggings and tunic. I gently tell her she'd be more comfortable in shorts and a tee. I woulda told her she was nuts too but in my best 'kindergarten mommy' voice because I will until she's a little older to really start dissin' her choices. She's still in that mockingbird stage. You know what that is. Like the time (okay, just last month) when the older one repeated my own brand of self-depricating humor and told some other virtual strangers " I used to look like my dad, until I got a horsey-face like my mom". She has heard me refer to my oval facial frame as my Mr.Ed mug and I explained it as such. Or the time waaay back when Emily was in Kindergarten and it was circle time and they were asking if any of the kids had nicknames they would prefer to be called. Emily raises her hand and says loudly " My mom calls me a pain in the ass!" Oh yeah - one of my prouder moments. So I learn from experience to temper my words with the little one. Okay - not all the time, but first day of school? Uh, yeah. Sing with me now "Mock -yeah. Ing-yeah. Bird-yeah. Yeah-yeah"

So they both go to school on the 102 degrees in the shade day looking mighty fine , I must say. And peel their togs off in the car on the way home. We go for ice cream and it's all good.

It's All Good. It's All Good. My new mantra. Cuz 'leave me the fuck alone' just doesn't work.***

(if i say it over and over again, will I start believing it??)

**alternate title #1 "The One With Fits and Starts"

***alternate title #2


Big Mama Cass said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Adorable!! :)

I like your mantra "Leave me the fuck along" much better :)

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

How on earth did you end up as PTA president?? Not that I have any room to speak. Would you like to get in on our order of "We put the T and A in PTA" shirts? :-)

Tracey9AD said...

So cute! I have a 5th grade girl this year too...and a 7th grade boy. Dang I am getting old.

I just have to say that I LOVED the comment about the kids in magazines...I couldn't agree more. Why do they even put that crap in there...kids in these parts can't wear sleeveless things to school anyway!

Mariah said...

My mantra is leave me the fuck alone. Too bad you didn't get your ' i told you so' moment, I LIVE for those moments. School starts Wed. for us and I'm WAY READY to send the kids back

bejewell said...

We were in the car the other day and saw a dog roaming the neighborhood, and I pointed out the puppy dog and the Bean was all, "Puppy dog!" And then the puppy dog turned around and it had enormous balls and I mumbled to myself "puppy dog's got really big balls" and the Bean was all "BIG BALLS BIG BALLS BIG BALLS!!" which he continued to repeat all the way to his grandma's house and then to her he said "Puppy dog has BIG BALLS!" and proceeded to examine HER dogs for THEIR big balls.

Kids are fun.

P.S. I used to work for our state's PTA and dealing with the local officers was always a nightmare. Be kind to your PTA staff. Just sayin.

Neuffj said...

oh, how the youngins crack me up! My niece and I communicate like that. I don't have any kids yet. But my niece is a handful for me! LOL I loved that email, it was hilarious! Stopping in from SITS

Cristin said...

"leave me the fuck alone" works for me.

mine is off to first grade this morning!

Aunt Becky said...

My eldest wants a Twitter account. He's 8. Yeah. Exactly.

Leah Rubin said...


for a different kind of girl said...

The new school year is already kicking me, which has kept me from getting caught up on blogs. Homework. Gah! I was NOT ready for the return of homework!

Your girls are crazy adorable, and, clearly live up to the fact you'll endure anything to look good!

Claremont First Ward said...

Your the PTA president? I guess we'll never see you again? :)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahah spa day, so cute!

Mike said...

I loved your comment about what are retailers thinking with the strapless tube tops. It only gets worse as they get older. The stuff they have for teenagers is scary....

JenJen said...

I vote for leave me the fuck alone, too.

Melissa said...

new to your blog and LOVE IT!
and Holy Shit, my kids have an Uncle Stephen/Esteban also. :)

Fancy Nancy said...

Happy New Year to all. Hope you get this. I enjoy your blogs. Fancy Nancy