Tuesday, April 28, 2009

WTF Wednesday

WTF with the IRS? April 15th has come and gone. The source for much tension around these parts. Since giving up my paying career for my non-paying job 7 years ago...I had been relegated to the title of Taxpayer Spouse. They don't accept Domestic Goddess or Prime Minister as occupation for a SAHM. This year, in an effort to curb costs, the IRS has a way to file the Not EZ forms via the internet. I didn't see the form. I didn't sign the form. I am not even a person anymore. WTF?



WTF with my 9 year old? Two days ago she was Flatsy Patsy. Today she has real live actual little boob-nubs. When I mentioned it to her, she about jumped out of her Sketchers with tweener glee. She said she needs to start wearing push-up camisoles. She is gonna drive me to drink (earlier than usual) Oh hell, it's four o'clock somewhere. Hubby said he noticed the nubs a few days ago..but hasn't stopped shuddering since. Straight up or on the rocks, dear?

WTF miss California? Opposite marriage ? Really? I get the stink you are making. I (sort of) .. agree that if your opinion wasn't wanted, it shouldn't have been requested. You were asked a loaded question (by a loaded asker, I might add)and answered truthfully . But, dear Miss, it wasn't what you said that caused the loss of the crown...it was your delivery. If Miss America is about 'purity', then Miss USA is about 'maturity'. You're not showing a whole lot. We have already exhausted more collective energy on your bitching than the whole matter is worth. You're getting more press than the actual winner. Sour grapes only make good whine.

WTF Vegas? Last weekend in Vegas - we were staying at Planet Hollywood where the Miss USA pageant was held. I have never seen more beautiful people in my life. And moms, sisters, little nieces of the contestants? Lovely. We had a chance to talk to many of them, and their entourage of supporters ( and a large cadre of stylists , (read:gay men)) . They were really very poised and 'on' all the time. What a great time we had. But - WTF Vegas? I go but twice a year to reinvigorate my groove; to feel good about myself. We all know that a good brisk walk down Las Vegas Boulevard usually does wonders for one's ego. The Strip represents middle America. People who would pay $25 for a one ounce of alcohol blue 'drink' in a souvenier Eiffel Tower stein complete with neck strap (you know, so you can give the man a dollar to pet his lizzard- and I mean the amphibian). Vegas is one gigantic buffet of average. Not this weekend. I'm afraid it was me who was in buffet line this go around. Please don't tell me I need to vacation in Pigeon Forge next year.

Totally off subject here, but I saw Mr. Big ...yessiree, Chris Noth. On the roullette table. He's yummy. And while not tall, he is beefy where he should be beefy. I got a chance to slide over and slip him my tongue and mention that I was a big fan. He was gracious. Yum. I managed not to embarrass myself totally, like I did with George. Clooney. Yeah that's right. I had no chance of sharing any me-time with Mr. Big with all those gorgeous contestants and their swooning stylists roaming around.


WTF with my brother and his wife? Facebook knew my bro had shoulder surgery yesterday before his mother and sisters knew. He's fine, the whole thing was successful and all - and that is good news. But even though I usually don't 'dis' family on here, but they don't read this anyway. They probably don't even know it exists. I just don't get why they didn't tell us - their family - and post to their (her) Facebook friends ...My mom is hurt and angry and rightly so. She found out from my sister's email . This is not a case of "I didn't want to worry you" or anything...this is a case of " I don't think about you ". I love my brother, but sometimes...I don't like him very much.




WTF with my teeth? I am forty-fuckin-five years old and I have two cavities. I blame my parents for this one. Dental health is largely hereditary. Add genetics to the fact that I have no calcium production (hypocalcemia) and I'm looking at osteoporosis and rapid(lier than most) tooth decay.


24 comments:

for a different kind of girl said...

You have had your famous run-ins, haven't you!? Love the Clooney story. You should have really buddied up more with Richard Kind since those two are long-time buddies! You could be living in the villa in France with Dr. Ross now!

Also...gah! Nubs at nine?! That seems crazy young!

Lee of MWOB said...

I like this WTF vibe over here for this Wednesday....right on.

And the nubs? My girls are 6 and 4 and I am shuddering over here too.

Yiiiikkkkkeeeesssssss.

American in Norway said...

Hey! Popping by from Kelly's... Great blog.. now I am off to figure out what Miss CA. said...

Soxy Deb said...

My bff's little girl is 7 and she already has nubs. What's up with that? I think I was 32.

Chris Noth is quite delectable. I'd do him. Not that he's asking or anything.
Hell, you know who else I'd do? Nigel on America's Next Top Model. *rawr*
Oh sorry. What were you saying?

Fannie said...

I know what you mean about Vegas. I often find a visit to a Water/Amusement Park does much for my self-esteem. I'm just sayin'.

nikkicrumpet said...

HAHAHA each WTF was funnier than the next...oh wait that's not true...the nubs story was the BEST! A push up camisole for a 9 year old...THAT'S TOO CUTE! You're gonna need to stockpile the spirits for the next 8 years!!!

Mama Dawg said...

I like WTF Wednesday. I may have to steal this one.

Yummmmmmmm on Mr. Big. That man is hot, hot, hot!

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, and I totally hear you on the nubs. Mine's already wearing sports bras and pseudo bras. Gah.......

Mama Kat said...

I DREAD the day my girls come home with nubs. I'm drinking right now just thinking about it. On the rocks.

Aunt Becky said...

Dude. Yes. I so like this better than the other Wordless Weds stuff.

And I'll add to it:

WTF body, what's up with all the bleeding?

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

Ugh, I've got a mouth full of cavities and I'm so afraid of the dentist I just don't go!

Mr. Big? His head is too big! Seriously, I don't like a huge head on a man. Heeheehee.... you might take that the wrong way. John Travolta has a huge head too, but he gets a pass from me cause he's awesome.

Boobies. I'm there with ya girl! Mikayla started budding months ago and now can't go without a bra. Just swollen nipples and a tiny bit of rounding around them, but not much else. Guess her period is on its way soon too!

Justine :o )

Mariah said...

WTF wednesday?? Hmm I may need to participate wit you next week. I have a fucking cavity too. What's up with that?? I think little miss ca. is just trying to get attention. Skinny bitch

Mariah said...

Nubs really? My 12 year old only has one nub--on the left. WTF is up with that?

Cristin said...

Mr. Big??!! Oh I'm so jealous!!!

Not jealous about the girly nubs though... I don't have anything to worry about, even if Dottie doesn't stay a baby forever, I'm sure she'll take after her mother and never develop nubs...

Kelly Deneen said...

LOL. Push-up camisoles??? bwahaha! OMG -- I do not want my daughter to grow up!

Romi said...

The only people I run into in
Vegas are people I know from my neighborhood. Every time I go there and get in the elevator I see someone I know from back home. What's up with that? I have never seen a celebrity there. I should stop riding elevators and start gambling. Then I might see one.

George Clooney! You lucky gal...I would have been just as tongue-tied too. You are not alone.

As for the developing daughter...it's wine-thirty somewhere!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Hmm, I like this WTF Wednesday idea!

Susan said...

You are hysterical. I love your WTF theme.

My 9 year old is now wearing bras regularly. My husband said he can't grab her and hug her from behind anymore without being "cautious as to where I touch". Yesterday, her little sister reported that the 9 year old and her friend locked themselves in the bathroom to talk about S-E-X. Lovely.

I SOOO want to go back to Vegas. I'm jealous of your proximity. I may squeeze a trip in during my 2 week July trip to Thousand Oaks!

Sass said...

Can I steal this idea?

'Cause today I'd be saying WTF Skeletor? In reference to the excessively skinny, bitchy, yucky woman at the gym this morning.

Love this post!

sassy stephanie said...

WTF? No posting since Wednesday? You out shopping for training bras?

The Blonde Duck said...

You poor thing! You have a lot of things to WTF about!

Yaya said...

Haha! Yeah, my one friend went into early labor and literally pushed for 10 minutes and all her friends found out she had the baby from facebook before she had time to call everyone! Lol!

Little boobs...aw. It's all downhill from here....

Em said...

Oh, I hate when you see a hot male star and they're shorter than you thought. I always figured Chris Noth was pretty tall - guess it's because SJP is like 4 ft, 2.

Thanks for the nub story - I was getting ready to have another moment of "I need a girl around here!" after listening to all the boys cheer for Wii ATV vs, Motorcross - but that just nipped that in the bud.

Sorry :-)

Linda S said...

Take me with you to Vegas next time. Some how I think you'd be good luck...for what i'm not sure, just guessin'