The One (what? only one?) with the Frilly Blog Award

I got this from that stud my buddy Kevin over at Always Home and Uncool. There are quite a few Daddy blogs that I read daily. Take it from me, Kevin may always be home...but he is anything but Uncool. In fact, he comments on my comments to his comments about my comments on his posts. In fact, one could almost say that I may actually 'talk' to Kevin more than own Hubby! I definitely yell at him less, and don't complain about money - or the job, or the kids, or anything. Excuse me, I don't yell. - I speak with emphasis.

And what to do with this Bloggy Bling?? I am to bestow it to other wonderful Bloggy friends... so here goes:

Nikki at Blah, Blah Blog who has exquisite taste {wink, wink}and hysterical 'I Wish Wednesday's" posts.

Brittany at Barefoot Foodie who is ready to pop out another child and quite frankly, I can't afford a real baby shower gift. Seriously, she is frickin' hysterical and gives a whole new meaning to the word Earth Mother.

Carrie of Candid Carrie who has more followers for just one of her Phriday Photo Phiesta's than I've had in over a year of blogging - total! She is also a new mom!!

Lee over at Moms Without Blogs who is a new friend. I am trying to suck up to her so she'll interview me...Subtlety has never been my strong suit, what can I say?

Cristin at Tiptoeing Through The Tulips who was one of my very first. Commentors. I know I might have met her before. Maybe even eaten that tiny piece of paper she put on my tongue at a Dead show once. ...or was it a Scarlett Begonia?

And although I could go on and on.... but you folks better read the "what to do with the Frilly Blog Award " disclaimer attached and do what you are told.

Frilly Blog Award Disclaimer:
"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to {sic}bunches of bloggers who must choose {sic}bunches of more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."


Now onto the real heart of this post. This is how I blog...I usually scroll through my daily reads and sometimes steal get inspiration from their posts. I have a wad of used tissues and receipts with little notes on them so when something strikes me as blogworthy fodder - I always have some dried up snot thing to write about. But sometimes, I get some ideas from the comments I leave on other people's blogs. I literally crack myself up! My response when Kevin bestowed the Frilly Blog Award was something to the affect of " well, it's no independent pleasuring device or a free coffee card - but it doesn't make my ass look fat in these sweat pants!" Yup- totally slayed myself on that one.

Which leads me (in a very circuitous route) to this:

WARNING: The following contains some very personal and ersatz erotica so if you are my mom or anyone who has seen me in a diaper...please just back away from the monitor and remove your fingers from the keyboard. NOW!

Without a doubt, you have all seen the myriad of pleasuring devices being 'donated', 'test driven' and 'reviewed ' on these here interwebs. Well, Swirl Girl got herself a toy - affectionately dubbed 'Papa Smurf' . Drew (as in I'm not sure if it is Drew as is Barrymore or Drew as in Cary which if it is the latter ...kinda freaks me out a little) of Eden Fantasys reached out to me via my comments on another horny stay at home mommy blogger's site (hello SMTMVM) and asked if I'd like to give one of these babies a whirl...so I said SURE THING! I am to write a straight up review (which I don't know if I can actually do without my own special brand of Swirly snark) and he/she may give me another one to give away . So without further adieu....

Meet The Insatiable G show. Not to be confused in any way with Da Ali G show...(cuz I gave up on that show on HBO when Borat came out cuz that just wasn't funny)

{Don't you just love how show it next to two tomatoes? It's a vibrator! No , it's a pizza sauce mixer! }

What it is - it is a " hygienically superior Silicone insatiable G™features a clitoral stimulator with pleasure nodules and a flickering tongue and a wide curved, flexible and resilient G-spot stimulator.

The easy-grip controller works with two removable bullets that can be used to vibrate the clitoral and G-spot stimulators simultaneously or independently and provides seven intense functions: the first three functions vibrate from low to very powerful, the fourth is a pattern of short and long bursts of vibration, the fifth pulsates rapidly, the sixth pulsates gently then roughly and the seventh function escalates.

With a wide range of pulsating combinations and dual motors, this toy is assuredly "designed to hit the mark with unparalleled precision."

What it did for me? First of all - just the thought of using the toy got the 'business done" in no time at all.. I really like the dual action. And I liked the different vibration intensities. There is one particular setting (number six?) that rises and falls and rises and falls and rises and falls and ........goehtoihygoljaew...oops, just fell off my chair! Sorry about that!

I also liked that it is sort of a ' insert tab A into flap B' sort of gizmo. Meaning that you don't need to maneuver Papa Smurf once it is placed in the flap B. So even those of us with Tennis Elbow can use it, and you don't have to fumble with going leftie. There is a remote control with a lengthy 'tow line' so you can literally lay back and 'get your PBS' on. (heaven forbid it should slip too far into the abyss....you can tow it out)

I did think it was kind of loud - so forget the discreet "be right back, kids" while you slip into your bathroom for a quickie. Not too loud mind you - certainly nothing that couldn't be drowned out by my pleasure giggles. And I am not sure what the 'removable bullets' are supposed to do. I couldn't get them out...nor was I planning on having an orgasm then knocking over the convenient store for an Icee when I was done - so they look nice and all shiny ...but what are they for?

And I do like the fact that it looks like a sex toy. I must say that while perusing the site Eden Fantasy for my toy of choice - there were many adorable dildos that looked like rubber duckies or cute little dolphins or ladybugs wearing an army helmet. I could see my girls finding one of those and , thinking it a bathtub toy - they'd get the shock of their young lives.

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So on a scale of 1 to 10...I'll give the Insatiable G a 7.5 (damned Russian judge) It's got a great beat and you can totally dance to it. Solo. And let me just add: in words immortalized by the God -father of Soul himself.

"I Feel Good" and "Papa's got a brand new bag!! "