Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The One Where She Goes Trigger Happy...

...or not. I begin each day with the mind set that my kids and I will not argue about anything. Most of the time they are practically perfect - but as all mothers and daughters (and sons) are bound to do - there is some discipline, direction, disagreement, or just plain yelling that occurs on a daily basis. So from now on...I am beginning my day with even lower expectations than I usually have. (and if you know me at all, that is already pretty low) That way - I will be pleasantly surprised , maybe even a little giddy when nothing tragic happens. And on the offshot that something really good happens - rainbows and lollipops may just come shooting out my ears. And- if I , say, won the lottery ...well, I think my head would implode and that would be that.



I can usually just tell the kind of day Emily had by the way she walks down the ramp from class to my car. If she is bounding , or singing to herself - with her sweatshirt tied around her waist, carrying the 40 lb. backpack, then it was a good day. If, like today, she is almost limping...expressionless, loping along deep in thought - I say to myself "oh crap...what happened today"




Me: "Hi babe, how was your day?"

Her: "Mom, I'm in a tweener crisis."

Me: "Oy. Okay - I'm ready, shoot."

Her: "Do you think you should tell a boy that you 'like-like' him or should you keep your feelings all bottled up inside?'

Me: " The mom answer is that you should not tell him. You should keep your feelings to yourself because you are 9 and too young to 'like-like' a boy. Plus, you don't want Daddy to have to hurt anyone (like he promises to do ) . The other answer is that girls mature faster than boys and if you tell a boy that you 'like-like' him, he will probably think it's gross and either be unphased by the whole conversation or make you feel goofy because he doesn't return the feelings in the way you want. Plus, once you tell him- and on the off chance that he feels the same way...then what are you going to do about it? "




Her: {crickets}

Me: "Who wants ice cream?"

Frozen margaritasIce cream or Double Stuff Oreos are the sure fire Tweener trouble deflectors. I keep ample stock of both in my house and am seriously considering putting a small freezer in the car.

Phew! Close call.


Later that day - I pick Emily up from Hebrew school, and spy her laughing and chatting with friends. She sees me and quickly goes into loping mode.


Her: "Mom, we have to have a chat when we get home."

Me: "Oy. What now?"

Her: " I think I am having mood swings."

Me: " Mood swings, huh? Where did you learn that term?"

Her: " In that book you gave me. I know that I will have hormones and they will cause my emotions to go up and down. You know, when my uterus is sloughing cells."


Me: "Well, if you are really having mood swings, the best thing to do is to try to recognize the triggers and then try to determine those things that make you feel better and gravitate towards those things. That is the real answer. The Mom answer is - - You're playin' me, kiddo. First of all - you don't have a period yet. You don't have hormones or cells that are sloughing...You don't even have boobs yet, or 'feathers'. You can't choose when to have a mood swing. (The child remembers every frickin' thing she ever read or heard and chooses when to apply those things.)

Her: {crickets}

She was fine being 'all that and a bag of chips'...until she saw me.

Maybe I am her trigger.

Me: " You know, babe - they make Double Stuffs with chocolate cream, too!"
The sound of resounding joy eminates from the back seat...I could sense the feeling of conflict resolution overcoming the mood swing.

...that made her "trigger" happy.



18 comments:

Yaya said...

Hahaha....love it, 'maybe I am her trigger'....yup, the parents always are!

sassy stephanie said...

Too funny. Love the part of not wanting dad to follow through on his promise! LOL

Eudea-Mamia said...

"tweener crisis"

LOL - oh poor thing (both of you ladies!)

nikkicrumpet said...

HAH!~!! I remember those days...and you couldn't pay me enough to repeat them! Raising a daugher...especially once she starts sloughing cells...is a monumental challenge!!! But at least you make it funny for us!

Weith Kick said...

Oy vey! What is a parent to do? I started to have girlfriends when I was 10. So, you better watch out. And then whatcha gonna do? Scary stuff for a parent. But it sounds like your husband has it all under control if he plans to inflict some serious whup-ass. That's what I would do too.

Mariah said...

She's funny she could teach my 12 year old a thing or two.

Fannie said...

Pre-PMS? Stock up on the ice cream STAT!

Romi said...

Feathers?....LOL! I love these conversations you share with your kids.

Harmony said...

Haha, kinda hard to relate to her about such stuffs while she's still young eh.

Susan said...

Ok, I guess my 9 year old throwing the "F" bomb is better than dealing with this stuff!!?? Not sure. And by the way,they say 9 is the new age for girls to start their periods! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! PS...your girls pictures were beautiful in your birthday post for your little Ray Ray!

Sass said...

Ugh. Good to know what I have to look forward to. ;)

for a different kind of girl said...

As a woman who would mainline Double Stuff Oreos if I allowed myself to and who has an 11 year old son, I speak from experience when said 11 year old son says he still thinks girls are weird. Maybe it's because a few of them have been telling him they like-like him that makes him think that, but who knows. Pass the Oreos...

Kay Bratt said...

Been there done that...Oh crap...still there. My 18-yr-old is out of my lair but my 13-yr-old keeps it coming....

Just wait til' your coworker comes up to you and says, "Yeah..I saw on your daughter's Facebook that she is married."

What?! I don't even know how to get on my daughter's Facebook...what the heck is my co-worker girlfriend who doesn't even have kids looking at it for?

[for the record..I did go home and do a Facebook check with said daughter sitting next to me. It was a joke...duh...just like her sending out a comment to all of her "friends" that she was going to "Fart In Their Eyes"...and getting threats back that she was going to be reported for Facebook abuse. Had to laugh at that one...what do they think...they might really smell the fumes??

Linda S said...

It starts soooo early. You will have your hands full. You might want to grab that book and check out the vocab list....just to be prepared

Cristin said...

I feel like Dottie will be a Tween next week she's growing so fast.... better stock up on the wine... er, Ice Cream...

Trooper Thorn said...

There is one answer for all young girls' problems: hockey. Girls who play hockey are either too busy to think about boys and their appearance, or have too much self-confidence to care about such nonsense.

Thanks for your comment on my blog today. Unfortunately Blagojevich is real enough to have been re-elected.

Soxy Deb said...

Her: " In that book you gave me. I know that I will have hormones and they will cause my emotions to go up and down. You know, when my uterus is sloughing cells."

I'm not sure I even know what all that means and I'm peri-menopausal. I must not have gotten the book.

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